


Midnight Thoughts

by TabbyCat33098



Category: A Single Man (2009)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Character Study, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:55:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3850048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TabbyCat33098/pseuds/TabbyCat33098
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The ending that should have been.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Midnight Thoughts

**Author's Note:**

> This movie haunts me. It truly does. And I felt like the ending was a bit shit, so obviously I had to try my hand at fixing it. I didn't do too well, there was supposed to be more happiness, but I'm surprisingly okay with this honestly. Anyway, please please please comment if this movie struck as much of a chord with you as it did with me, I need someone to cry with lol.

Kenny has always been a light sleeper, kept awake by the heavy thoughts which plague him since he lacks an outlet through which to express them. His talks with Professor Falconer have eased his mind somewhat, but still he stirs when the older man removes the gun clutched in Kenny’s arms. He finds it difficult to go back to sleep after that, his mind falling back almost reflexively on the plethora of new questions Professor Falconer has raised for him.

The most obvious is the gun. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to put two and two together from the state of the professor’s desk and realize what he was planning to do. It chills Kenny to the core to think that had he not reached out finally, as he’s wanted to do for weeks, he may never again have had the chance. It’s selfish of him, but it’s taken him so long to work past the fear of being rejected by Professor Falconer and build up the courage to approach the man; he can’t stand the thought of having lost his opportunity.

He wonders what could possibly have inspired such distaste for life in the professor, but he answers his own question almost immediately. Hadn’t the professor said life was only worth living when he could form a real connection with another person? It stands to reason that the loss of such a connection must have led to the hidden despair he so obviously felt.

It had to have been a deep connection, Kenny reflects. A loved one, most likely. _Or a lover_ , a voice within him whispers, before Kenny can suppress those thoughts.

Unbidden, Kenny thinks back to earlier that night, when Professor Falconer told him to remove his clothes. He can’t deny the rush of adrenaline he felt at the thought that perhaps the professor felt about him the way he felt about the professor. And he knows he saw Professor Falconer’s gaze linger on him as he so brazenly put his body on display. He knows he didn’t imagine the interest in Professor Falconer’s eyes.

It takes a moment for Kenny to register the sound of breaking glass coming from Professor Falconer’s room, lost in thought as he is. “Sir?” he calls out, already sitting up and pushing the blanket away. “Sir, all you alright?”

He doesn’t receive an answer, and he can’t help the sense of foreboding that insinuates itself into his mind. He’s up in a flash, crossing over to the closed door behind which Professor Falconer resides. He gives the door a perfunctory knock but doesn’t wait for an answer before pushing it open. He’s laid himself bare before the Professor tonight. There is nothing to feel ashamed of between them.

Kenny takes in the scene with a growing feeling of horror. Immediately, he rushes to Professor Falconer’s side and drops to his knees, feeling the older man’s throat for a pulse. He grows frantic when he can’t feel anything, shifting his fingers against the skin in a desperate hope that maybe he isn’t feeling in the right place. To his relief, he finally feels a sluggish thumping against his fingers, and the tension leaves his shoulders.

It returns a moment later when he realizes he needs to get Professor Falconer to a hospital as soon as possible. He rushes out of the bedroom to the phone he remembers seeing and dials 911, impatiently waiting for someone to pick up. When he hears the pleasant voice on the other end, he cuts it off and says, “I need medical help. My friend, he’s unconscious in his bedroom.” He gives the woman Professor Falconer’s address and, after confirming that help is on the way, hangs up.

He returns to Professor Falconer’s side. “Sir, I need you to wake up,” he says, gently shaking the man’s shoulders. “Sir, talk to me. You have to stay awake.” The professor doesn’t say anything, but he lets out a quiet moan, and Kenny takes that as encouragement. He keeps speaking to the professor, about everything and nothing, waiting for the ambulance.

To Kenny’s relief, Professor Falconer is still responding to him when the paramedics finally arrive. Kenny watches in relief and concern as Professor Falconer is rushed away. He remains crouched on the older man’s floor instead of following him out, knowing that he has no claim to the man despite how much he wishes he did.

A paramedic finds him like that, before she leaves to join her colleagues. She kneels next to him and pats him kindly on the back. “He’s going to be alright,” she says, and even though Kenny knows they’re just empty words, even though he knows there hasn’t been enough time to see what happened to the professor…

He believes her.


End file.
